go do what you do best...puke behind churches
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
