Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
