Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
false alarm, still single
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
