I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
