i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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