The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We got so high we made milksteak
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
