I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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