the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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