Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
