Ambien. No doubt about it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
