just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
