I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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