the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
