and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
is it fun? or sober?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
