Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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