He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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