i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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