you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
