I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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