If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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