two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
