Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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