how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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