So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
