So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
