"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Will you blow on my dice?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
