Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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