too bad you live with your parents still
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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