Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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