and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
