fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
