He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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