someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
