We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
