Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
