God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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