I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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