There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
