Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
