just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
