this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck appropriateness.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
