Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
