youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
