omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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