I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.