All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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