Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
