2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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