Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You made out with two different species that night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize