he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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