none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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