and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
