whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
