How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
