You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
