We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize