dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish my penis had a tongue
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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