end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need a burrito and a hug.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
